Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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