You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize