Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
