You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
