Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
