I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i will never coherently bang her
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
