Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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