So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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