I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
