its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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