I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
