I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
and she was petting her beer can
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
