How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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