There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just pee around me
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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