What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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