Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My vagina is officially offended.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
