I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
