So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
