I faked an abortion last night.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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