Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
