I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
