it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
