he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
