Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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