he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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