My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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