I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
