do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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