I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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