Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize