literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
