my mouth tastes like poor choices
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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