12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize