This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
