i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
COCAINE IS GR8
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