im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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