His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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