Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
