Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
