As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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