i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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