How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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