Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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