so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
