No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
