idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
