Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
