why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i think i have herpe
just one?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
