Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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