so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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