As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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