I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
