i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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