so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
