He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize