I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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