I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
